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Submitted on
November 21, 2012
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It is not a disease.
It is not a choice.

It certainly isn't in just black and white,
No, there are many colours in a rainbow.

It is not just you.
It is not just me.

It certainly isn't abnormal,
No, there are many people like us.

It is not only painful.
It is not for attention.

It certainly isn't a game,
No, this is serious.

It's what you make it out to be.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
This is taken from my old dA account that I had deactivated, and I have revised it slightly.

The point of this poem is to convey reality of a person's identity. It is not a choice in the matter as to whom that person is. It just is. This can be applied to any aspect, but I wrote it for the factor of identifying gender and orientation for the most part. You are who you are, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. They aren't you, you are you.
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:iconhuntingforhappiness:
HuntingForHappiness Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi, I'm critiquing on behalf of #GrammarNaziCritiques. :wave:

I'll start by saying that I do love that you're spreading this message through your writing. It's important to bring awareness to these issues if we want to get anywhere, so it's admirable that you're doing so.

That said, I feel that there are a lot of ways that this could be more impactful, as a poem and, by extension, as a statement. As it is, this feels almost like an outline for an article or persuasive essay; if that were the case, this would be a good start to a good non-fiction piece. As a poem, however, it does feel a bit lacking.

Poetry in general has some basic yet important elements to it; things like rhyme, meter, imagery, metaphor, and the list goes on. That definitely isn't to say that all of those things must always be present; rhyme and meter especially are becoming somewhat more optional these days. However, poetry still does need to feel poetic to the reader, and with the exception of lines 3 and 4, maybe, it doesn't really have many poetic qualities to it.

The thing that makes lines 3 and 4 work is that you've referred to the black-and-white/binary thinking that plays a big role in homophobia, and then worked in a rainbow reference to contrast the black and white previously mentioned. Although it's a relatively common play on words, that is the sort of thing that is good to work into poetry, and creative writing in general.

I do realize that it is tough to work much poetry into a commentary-type piece like this, and I see by some of the other writing in your gallery that you do understand the kind of stuff I'm saying. Considering that, I think the best advice I can offer you for this poem, and for future pieces of this nature, is to treat it just like your other poetry. Work in that imagery, don't be afraid to use less straightforward language; basically, remember that you're still writing a poem. Because I think this piece has potential, if you treat it just like any other poem.

Again, I do love the message and I think that both you and this piece have lots of potential, so keep up the writing, and don't lose that passion. And if you'd like some more specific advice or clarification on what I mean about making this more poetic, please do let me know; I'd be happy to help.
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:iconsarah1938:
sarah1938 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Very moving. Thank You
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:iconthewhitejewel:
TheWhiteJewel Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
We've all got flaws one way or another. That's what makes humans so interesting. :>
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:iconuniquityequality:
UniquityEquality Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Agreed. c:
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:iconkaixchan:
KaixChan Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Excellent writing and a brilliant point being made. Phenomenal work.
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:icongossamerwish:
GossamerWish Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Love this poem!
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:iconuniquityequality:
UniquityEquality Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :meow:
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:icongossamerwish:
GossamerWish Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
c: You're welcome!
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